Geodesics - Arianne 153 En
The other side, running away before the shadows of the death.
The other side
Twilight time. But it was more, than only the end of the day.
It seems so, that the twilight of his life came up to him.
He knew, he would not survive this night.
His body couldn't fight any more against these corrosive elements of life.
And his spiritual self? No, he did not want to go. Whether this has any meaning?
So he laid down and ... died? First he fell asleep, into a sleep from which he would never awaken.
Confused dreams. He circled around dark holes, which wanted to
involve him. Flash lights in the dark. Strange shadow beings who
approached him. An endless sequence of nightmares. But it did not
frighten him. He knew already, this would be his end. And why should
he fear the inevitable?
He had no pain, but he felt the weight disappear, which has
accompanied him his whole life. Feelings and emotions, they became
weaker, only his spirit seemed to remain clear, inside these dreams.
He had no fear, and, there was a certain curiosity.
But isn't curiosity also a feeling, which disappears?
The transition to the after world, it hit him like a blow, which
tried to annihilate everything. But strange, he still was present, he
recognized his self in his thoughts. He felt like being moved to the
other side of a mirror.
Thoughts? Without a brain, which is able to think?
Impressions, memories. Maybe a
paranormal relation to the time, in which he lived. Who knew that
already so exactly.
Something changed. Everything was black and yet he recognized the contours around. He perceived them directly.
Black? What about the photons, the particles of light?
They were going through, not interacting with him.
He couldn't extract any information, therefore everything was black.
He had no feelings any more. But a strange distance to his destiny, as
if it didn't touch him. Was there anything he had to fear?
Now he was dead. But he didn't want to accept this completely. How
was it possible to evolve thoughts in this state? And there were dark
shadows in the room.
Dark shadows in a black environment. Which eyes could see something like
this? No, the shadows were part of a strange environment and he too, so
he perceived them directly.
He remained calm but suddenly felt a strange energy inside. Because he
was dead, maybe the laws of nature no longer applied. So he tried to
escape with a thought. He imagined the Nebula of Andromeda and from one
to another moment, he was gone.
Walking in space. He remembered ... a part of the Musical Hair. Now it
was realized for him. A giant spiral fog. A fog? No, not a fog. A cosmic
nebula. He couldn't see it, because he had no eyes any more, but he
felt it, in all of it's greatness and colours. He wondered what such a
dead being could perceive.
But then ... there was a fog ... with hidden shadows inside. They really tried to deceive him.
Where to go?
He imagined the interior of the solar sun. Yes, all the way to the
center. He perceived very dense matter, and ... holes. Where do they
lead? Connections between suns? Cosmic streets? He did not dare to use
Then these shadows again. Why did they not burn? Coming from hell? Who
knows what the goals of this afterworld are. And he did not live a holy
Maybe the holes lead to a black hole, but he feared that this will be
his dead end. No, that's not the way he wanted to go. All the time inside a
black hole, no no no, and what about the
singularity inside? Hawkins said that these black holes will find an
end, but whether a consciousness like him will overcome the end of a
black hole? Too many questions. He wondered if these shadows will follow
him there and the scientist inside him was curious... but suddenly he
felt a warning.
It seems so that he had no feelings anymore with the exception of fear and warnings.
Next step, the Rings of Jupiter.
After 2 minutes the shadows were back again.
He was a hunted consciousness, without a connection to matter. Something
like a vagabond spin without an elementary particle? So he considered
himself as a ghost. But why could these shadows find him?
He tried to escape in book fantasy tales and science fiction universes,
but this is another story. At the end the letters throw him out of the
books, because he didn't match the table of contents.
Everything has it's own rules.
Then a shadow almost touched him. Now they had caught
He escaped to his birth house, into his former school, to other places
of his former life. But the time steps to find him got shorter.
Then he saw a CD and floated inside. He realized that the shadows did
not follow him. What a kind of CD? He looked around and found himself in
the kingdom of Avalon.
Had he become a part of the contents of the CD?
He saw a nutshell just in front of him. An invitation? He entered
and ... felt the geodesic lines of the space time. The nutshell followed one of these geodesics.
Lines, connecting space-time events. Cosmic particles like dust or
meteorites or planets move along geodesics, and for each velocity exist
an own geodesic. Velocity, with an upper limit by the velocity of light.
Special geodesics are the null
geodesics, the lines along which light particles go. For cosmic
particles it is impossible to reach the velocity of light, so they never
move along null geodesics.
Photons are travelling along null geodesics, and these particles don't
have a proper time or a proper volume, and they have no rest mass.
So if you travel along a null geodesic you can reach a far away space
point in no time. It is even possible to overcome an infinite distance.
No rest mass? A ghost, does it have a rest mass?
Does this mean, a ghost is equivalent to a photon?
Not exactly, a ghost does not have energy, so he does not exist. Photons exist, because they have energy.
So, I do not exist. That's the matter. But my thoughts, my consciousness? I think, so I am!
That's another understanding of existence. Physical existence assumes energy and you have lost it.
I wonder who speaks to me here.
The continuum. Any question is entangled in at least one answer.
So I continue with questions.
Travelling along a geodesic? What does it mean for a ghost?
You can reach any space-time event directly, like a photon.
No proper time will pass because no proper time exists for you.
And my thoughts, do they need no time?
No, it happens all in the same moment. So you can think without loosing time.
Surprising. I do not wonder any more why these shadows try to catch me.
No escape. The shadows have found him again.
One thought, floating inside the null geodesics ... and one infinity passed.
An infinity passed?
You are at an infinite distance to your starting point.
And now? Can they follow me?
Not the shadows, but ...
The death, a multidimensional character, infinite in shape. He seems to
take it personally. And this one is able to overcome infinity.
He felt a big darkness, floating around. It seems to reach at infinity.
A flight through the infinities, to far away distances. But
almost all possible directions were already covered by the breath of
the death. No escape possible? But ... there is another kind of
infinity, infinity in the small. Collapse to a point.
He converged like a sequence of rational numbers. Smaller and smaller
and ... infinite small and ... He transferred into the
interior of the plane!
So he felt out of the existence and did still exist!
A little fairy was floating in his mind.
<< So, you want to escape your fate! Against the run of the world!!
However, not a bad result, coming inside here. The death can not follow
you any more, he has no permit to come in. But who has given you the
"Mathematical convergence. I thought myself into an infinite
sequence, converging against the number Pi. But, at the location of Pi,
there was nothing. So I am here."
<< Pi, so so. Structured infinity in a small
scale. The continuum is real for all material beings and impermeable,
but not for a ghost like you. Do you even know that you are dead? You no
longer exist. How can you jump so here? The geodesics are not thought
as a sky roadway. They serve as transport tracks for subject matters of
the existence. >>
<< You are not a photon ... mhhh ... maybe a photon without
energy. But this has a frequency of zero and an infinite wave length, it is black. >>
"Another possibility, the amplitude is zero. Nevertheless, I think so I
am. And therefore I exist. I am sorry that I disturbed you. But isn't it
immanent to beings of the existence, to ensure their survival?!"
<< You are not a being of the existence! You are dead!! You are a
whirl of memories, who refused to dissolve itself and thinks it got an
own consciousness. >>
"Isn't a consciousness the basis of existence? Or what should existence otherwise be?"
<< You do not understand the interrelationships, I can not blame
you for this. From your point of view you even are right. But this is
the interior of the plane, her under awareness. Here nightmares and
dreams are born. You do not fit this domain. >>
"And what happens with me now? Will I be thrown out again? Continuing this
hunting forever, or until I find an end there? What is my destination,
and who decided these things?"
<< These are wide-ranging questions. I will not throw you out,
because the plane tolerates you obviously. This shows me the nutshell,
you are using. Behave calm and modest in the background. The nutshell
shows you the passable routes. But take care of the depths of the plane.
These infinities can be stronger than the death, from which you
escaped. Not even we fairies dare to look into them. >>
Remaining calm, he knew it already.
"I thank you and I will follow your advices."
So he moved slowly and calm into the interior of the plane.
The fairies he perceived, they did not care about him. If they know about him? He
circled around depths and heights and ventured neither in the one nor
in the other direction.
So his time passed.
What for a time? He has no proper time.
His memories. They interacted with each others and built new constructs,
like a dream. So he never got bored. He even didn't know if he was
dreaming or not.
Then a kind of chunk stopped his flight, formed an eye and looked at him.
Then he shook his head and disappeared again.
It was a touch with the under awareness of the plane.
He knew it without knowing how this knowledge got into his consciousness.
But ... if there is an under awareness, isn't there also a consciousness?
Then he saw her. A fairy, involved in white clothes and embraced by
super long hair. She waved at him and disappeared again. What an
apparition! He has touched the eternity, without being able to feel
He was longing so much for her ...
A fairy appeared before his spiritual eye, looked at him, although there was nothing.
<< You want to reach Arianne? Yes, I feel it. The touch with her, it has freed the deep longing of your soul. >>
The wish fulfilled him and he felt pain, being separated from her. Pain
like hell. How could this be possible? Was this the punishment for his egoism?
<< Arianne is the ground and the goal of all. You have understood
it. It is difficult to be separated from her with this understanding.
But you wanted to decide you fate by your own. Now stand for you. You
have the force to do it. Your will to exist, it will lead to a new
reincarnation, in which you will find your way back to the existence.
Going this way, all your memories will get lost. They are already a part
of Arianne. Find your way and decide what is important for you. A new
life will be born and it is not fitting asking for it's end. >>
The pain disappeared and all around him was grey and dissolved itself ...
A light. A birth. He shouted it out...