A desperate being of light got help.
A being of existence at the crossroads
A being of existence in fear and full of doubts. Everything
seemed to go wrong. Nightmares followed her. And nightmares of a
being like her have a deep impact to the existence. It made
things worse. A recursive catastrophe could happen.
Blame, avenging spirits, prosecutors, she fled from all of these
accusations and did not know where to go. Even her own little
paradise was not secure any more. The blades of grass whispered
to her how bad she was.
*Sigh*. Without her nothing would exist. All the existing beings
are her creations, her thoughts, a part of her. It was
wrong to try to please them all and to give them the freedom to
decide, to decide things they did not understand. To let them
see things, that exceeded their horizon, to give them power that
had no counterpart in reality. And last not least, to allow them
to question herself. That means, to question the existence.
It would have been much easier to give them rules, the first
rule should have been, to believe in their Gods, to follow them
and to accept that there are things that are not understandable
for limited finite spirits. Why not? Without any effort to
overcome these things no evolution is able to tun.
She had to left, the things were running out of control.
With all of this overestimated self-confidence, her creations
never could manage the existence alone.
But, what could she do?
It could tear her apart. One thought remained. The darkness in
her, it was so deep and inscrutable, so full of mazes. Whether
she could hide herself there? The being of existence hidden
before the existence? What a desperate thought. At the end ...
the existence will fall down.
Or is there a possibility without her? Without control of this
spiritual chaos? No, that would be the end. A plane without
Waiting for the death? No, not even the death could follow her
in the expanding infinities of her self. The ultimate darkness
around. Time to disappear.
A thought grazed her.
<<You are calling me?>>
Photonia was thinking about this touch. The darkness inside her,
does it had an own vitality, like the nightmares and all these
ghosts that haunted her, the accusers and mourners? The death
inside her? The negation of existence? No, she did not carry her
own death inside. And the darkness ... she was the being of
light! The darkness, was it displaced by the light?
<< No, I'm not coming from you. >>
But then ... a voice, a being that could feel it's own self,
without being a part of her? Why she could not perceive it?
She was the ultimate essence ... here ... at this place ... no,
She was afraid. And this fear, it had turned against her soul,
as if it would eat her up. What could remain?
<< Don't be afraid. I am only the darkness >>
Only the darkness?
<< Many are afraid of the dark. But often it are only the
hidden thoughts, that make impossible demands. And it is the
evolution, the dark can be dangerous. But you, as the being of
existence ... it are not these animal fears. It are your
thoughts ... you're afraid of your own. >>
I ... but ... I just want ...
<< I know, there is no need to tell it to me. >>
Can you give me some advice? I have no one I could ask, all the
questions and answers they come out of me.
<< I'll give you a little darkness. Come on trust me. It
will protect you and give you security >>
The dark inside her. It got larger and ... all encompassing.
And there was not only one darkness. She realized the depth of
it, the black inside the black, routes running to infinity and
There was no limit to the black ... it got blacker and blacker.
And she got not lost in the dark. The light inside her, it told
her where she could go. These tunnels here, she was not allowed
to enter. That gate there, it led into the realm of
non-existence, the transcendence of death.
No, she did not want to die.
Then she saw her hunters. Mighty law enforcers, omniscient
guardians of morality. They tried to accuse her. She as the
almighty being, she has to be perfect. But what was the goal?
If she was guilty, what will be the consequence? A denial of
existence? Then all these holy spirits would disappear. More
than that, they would
die. Despite their self assigned infinite wisdom. Whether this has found a way into their consciousness?
How could omniscience be so limited?
They did not see. Maybe only the one who is in the dark can see the
light. She was ... but the light.
<< You're too hard on yourself. These are all just
consequences of your thinking. An existence must carry itself.
But I know how difficult it is. I have seen many existences
passed before they could unfold. It is rather the exception, if
an existence can survive. >>
But, why me?
<< You are beautiful, Photonia. It is your inner life that
makes your appearance. Believe me, please, the darkness says
this to you. I see the light. You have the force for letting an
existence being alive. It fluctuates, dissolves itself and finds
together again. You are a raging rotating being that generates
so much energy that already the inner heaviness keeps it
together. Your self goes along with it. So you can never find
That everything is rotating around me, I know it. But, who are
you? You can not be a creature that was born out of me, because
you gives so much peace that I don't have. I feel you.
<< I am Darky, a being of darkness >>
A being of darkness? Are you the counterpart to the light?
<< Yes I am, at this place in relation to you >>
Darky, you seem so soothing to me. All this darkness around me.
It gives me security.
<< It is the darkness of oblivion. Just forget your
problems ... then you will find a new start, which can support
I should forget? But I'm responsible for everything that is
happening in existence!
<< That's your problem. You have the things itself to
decide. And you have to accept the results. Even if they
contradict your wishes. >>
I can not!
<< You're so full of feelings. You help the hunters and
the hunted, you feed both. And where you have not done it, you
are hunted by your morals. Photonia, you are a moral disaster,
did you never doubt on your aim? >>
I am the doubt.
<< Well, you are. That was a wrong hint of me. But your
morals lead to insoluble problems. You can not be responsible
for anything that develops in existence. You must be able to
delegate, create beings who can do it. I'll show you how others
have done it. >>
Others have done it? Is there more than one existence?
Everything has its parallelism. Not the same identity, just a
little bit different. I as the essence of oblivion, I have
preserved a part of the memories inside me. I will show you the
existence of Arianne. Try to learn from her ... and ... I will
bring you together. She could help you to survive. Maybe you
need a devil or ... let's see.
<< A being like you. She has similar goals, but she
accepted the contradictions and doing so she learned to
stabilize her existence. She carries the errors into herself and
she suffers terribly, just like you. But not at the prize of
self-destruction. She delegates. Her creatures are autonomous
beings, they have minds of their own and they make their own
decisions. And they are responsible for their doings. >>
But then she will depend on it. Such decisions could remove her
<< Yes, they can do it. And sometimes they do so. She has
confidence in her own creations. And she has the support of
beings like me. Behold, I have come to you. Try to follow me,
trust your own creativity, and you will get a lot of more